I watched a show last night for the second time: Boiling Point. There have been many movies and shows that depict life in the kitchen but few that struck me with as much of a reality punch as this one. Now, I have written for years about how much I love (loved) working in kitchens: the people, the product, the intensity, the creativity, and the team spirit. This will always be the case with me, but I have been fortunate to have made it through a career relatively unscathed. Many have not been so fortunate.

The mounting angst, stress, and complete deterioration of the primary actor in this show was palpable. I found my stomach twisting in knots and beads of sweat forming on my forehead as he slid down a slippery slope of physical, mental, and emotional decline. It was heartbreaking to watch and way too familiar as I reflect on more than 50 years of kitchen life. I have seen the decay occur before my eyes. A lack of concern for physical care and sometimes even appearance, changes in personality, self-doubt creeping into the psyche of very competent cooks, isolation, flashes of anger, a vocabulary once robust that slips into a string of four-letter expletives, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and the list goes on and on. What is the reason for this almost predictable decline?

I have often wrestled with finding an answer to that question. Does this business eat away at people? Is it possible that the nature of the restaurant business is contrary to a person’s wellbeing? Or, are troubled individuals, for some reason, drawn to this business and a platform that allows for self-exploitation?

It may just be a significant dose of both. Now, some may read this and find similarities to their line of work that may be far removed from kitchens, but I can only address what I know. I do know, from more than 50 years working with cooks and chefs, that they (the dedicated ones) share common traits that, in my opinion, are fuel for the fire of personal decline. Most dedicated chefs and cooks that I know are unfulfilled perfectionists. They are in constant pursuit of the impossible idea of perfection. Excellence is not enough and less than excellent is intolerable. They expect nothing less of themselves and thus have little patience for anyone else who fails to feel and act the same way. Since perfection is impossible, they tend to always be frustrated and on edge. These individuals would love to do everything themselves since they sense that this is the only way that excellence might be assured, but the business is too complex, too demanding, too time sensitive, and too focused on creativity to attempt being a lone wolf. So, training and delegation are the only answers leaving the door open for inconsistent dedication by all who surround the restaurant experience.

This pursuit becomes all-consuming leaving little or no time for less important things like exercise, sleep, a proper diet, hobbies, relationships, balance, or even quiet time. Chefs in pursuit of perfection work absurd hours almost never because their boss demands it – this “need” to be present always is self-inflicted because of a lack of trust in anyone but themselves. They give up nearly everything for the job, setting work as a priority over family, friends, and all those health-related issues stated above. It is this crazy, single focus pursuit that drives so much of this damaging behavior. But is this the only culprit?

Another common trait among many of the chefs and cooks I have known is an underlying fear of failure. Failure, however, they define it, is so difficult to contemplate that it fills the prophecy that they try to avoid. Even a smile on the chef’s face cannot totally hide this deep-seated fear. The job seems so complex, so overwhelming at times, that it becomes difficult to concentrate. There are too many things that can go wrong or maybe are going wrong for the chef to see light at the end of the tunnel. Guest satisfaction, restaurant financial performance, hiring and retaining good employees, consistency, outside evaluators and their impact on the restaurant reputation, how a chef’s professional peers feel about the food he or she produces, their own professional brand, and yes – relationships, family, friends, etc. Fear is everywhere, like a stain on your favorite shirt that you just can’t get rid of. If the chef works to address one of the concerns, then a handful of others will rise to the surface. It never ends, just as it did with the main character in Boiling Point.

The question is: “Does it have to be this way?” There are examples of chefs who are changing the dynamics of the position, not diminishing the requirement for excellence, just finding ways to get there without sacrificing personal wellbeing. What good is a career if you relinquish control of your physical, mental, and emotional health along the way? All the wonderful aspects of the cooks and chefs’ job: creativity, service, making people happy, working as a team, feeling part of something special, etc. are all for naught if your physical health, mental state, and emotional wellbeing are slipping away. Here are a few basic things we can all work on to help avoid what too many have viewed as the price of being involved in the restaurant business:

[]       HIRE RIGHT, INVEST IN TRAINING, TRUST & DELEGATE:

Yes, it is very difficult to find staff today, but hiring the wrong person, one who does not share the chef’s vision for quality food, teamwork, and professionalism will do more harm than good. Yes, it takes time and money to train people, but a lack of training is likely one of the primary reasons why so many restaurants fail. Yes, trusting employees is a bold move that requires that you let go of some responsibilities, but if you hired and trained properly then delegation and trust should make you feel good about your leadership.

[]       SCHEDULE YOURSELF TO BREAK AWAY:

The desire to always “be there” is powerful, but it isn’t healthy and will destroy you and the business if you allow it to. No one can be effective without some separation from the job. Take at least one day off, preferably two, every week and disconnect from all but absolute emergencies. Again, if you train and trust, then the shop will be just fine. Remember the team probably needs a break from you as well. Take a vacation every year and work a reasonable day. Be there when it is most important for that to occur. A ten-hour day is reasonable, more than that is self-destructive.

[]       TAKE THE TIME TO EAT RIGHT:

The picture of a cook sitting on the floor with their back propped up against an oven door, or standing over a garbage can stuffing a cold pork chop into his mouth may bring a nod of approval – a badge of honor, but it is destroying your physical and emotional health and failing at providing the right type of fuel you need. Eat balanced meals, sit down for 20 minutes or so with a tall glass of water, converse with your co-workers and chew your food like a human being before you jump into the fire of service. Do the same at home – eat well to stay well. Cut back on salt, processed foods, excessive fat, and too many empty, sugar-based carbs. If your body is in good shape, then you will be a much happier cook.

[]       BUILD EXERCISE INTO YOUR SCHEDULE:

At least 20 minutes a day – that’s all that it takes. Sit ups, light weights, power walk, take stairs instead of an elevator, yoga, Tai Chi, something that you can build into your schedule every day. The key is to build it into your schedule.

[]       REGULAR PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE HEALTH MEASURES:

See your doctor at least once a year for a physical, visit a dentist regularly, have your eyes checked, check your blood pressure, and work on those cholesterol numbers. Obviously, don’t smoke, avoid recreational drugs, and drink in moderation.

[]       HAVE A HOBBY UNRELATED TO FOOD:

Something that you look forward to – something that helps you to relax music, painting, writing, outdoor sports, pick-up basketball, the options are limitless.

[]       BE THERE FOR YOUR FAMILY AND PARTNER:

When you build your work schedule make sure that family time is noted as important. Try to make some special events, but do not ignore how critical relationships, family, friendships are to your state of mind, heart, and soul.

[]       FIND A MENTOR YOU CAN SHARE WITH:

We all need someone who will tell us straight – this is what they see in us and our situations. We need someone we can share the good, bad, and ugly with and someone we can ask: “So, what do you think?”

[]       DON’T HOLD THINGS IN, WHEN IN NEED ASK FOR HELP:

Stress and anxiety can be overwhelming. They build up inside and eat us alive if we allow them to. Holding them in is like filling a balloon past its capacity – eventually it will burst, and so will you. Sometimes just sharing your situation with others (friends, family, or professionals) is enough to bring a sense of comfort and relief. Don’t hold it in.

PLAN BETTER – TRAIN HARDER

Harvest America Ventures, LLC

Restaurant Consulting

www.harvestamericacues.com  BLOG

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