I’ve been writing a lot lately about hospitality. Whether you are a line cook, chef, baker, server, bartender, or manager – you are in the business of hospitality. This is the difference maker, the most important act that defines who you are, what you are about, and why anyone would have interest in working for or with you or spending time and money in your operation as a guest. Of course, great food draws everyone to the table, a good location can give a competitive edge, pricing and convenience carry loads of weight, but – without a culture of hospitality, the odds of long-term success will wane.

         So what is hospitality? How is it defined and when will you know it exists? In the simplest terms, hospitality is a single act of kindness. This cannot not survive if it is contrived – it must be felt and lived by all. From the dishwasher to the manager, the culture must live under the umbrella of single acts of kindness.

         Kindness must be external and internal. So, the chef must seek to be kind to his or her employees, vendors, and guests. Do not confuse this with being soft or dismissive of performance, in fact it is just the opposite. Expectations and standards are strongest when an environment of caring and support is prevalent. A simple thank you, great job, I understand, what can I do to help, let me show you, or a pat on the back goes a long way toward creating this environment. When an employee knows that a supervisor cares, knows that his or her teammates have their back, and they are willing to jump in to help others because they want to be there for them, then remarkable things can happen.

         Whether an employee or a guest, when we remember their names, something about their family when they are return guests, being cognizant of their situation or state-of-mind, taking the time to listen, or providing a smile when it is apparently needed, is a priceless gift of hospitality that turns the dining or work experience from transactional to memorable. This is the most important goal for a restaurateur and all who work within that business – creating memorable moments. It becomes most effective when it is not planned, it simply is the way that everyone in the organization acts.

         Being kind is not difficult, it costs very little, and it always leads to positive feelings. Holding the door for the person behind you, saying good morning to a passing stranger, helping an elderly person to their seat, helping a co-worker lift a heavy pot, giving a vendor driver a cup of coffee after unloading an order, showing your pleasure that a steady guest has returned for dinner, or cheering on your kitchen or dining room team after a successful service are simple, yet remarkable acts of hospitality.

         Allow me to share a story that, I think, exemplifies hospitality at its finest. I have embellished on this, assuming how my observation may have come to fruition.

         I was sitting with my wife in a neighborhood restaurant at 2:00 in the afternoon. It was a late lunch for us, at a place that welcomes diners throughout the day. A few tables to my right sat an elderly man, alone, waiting for the server. A wooden cane by his side demonstrated that he struggled a bit to get here. He was dressed in a crisp white shirt and a cardigan sweater, a fedora removed and sitting on the edge of his table. He looked out the window, seeming lost a sad.

         A woman server, maybe in her late 40’s, came to the table. Smiling she said: “Hi, Joe! Great to see you. Can I bring your usual?” Joe’s eyes sparkled and he showed signs of a smile. “Can I see the menu today, Margie?” She responded, “Of course, Joe. Going to be daring today?” She placed the menu in front of him, touched his arm and said she would return in a few moments.

         I had a feeling that Joe would probably order his usual but was trying to maximize his conversation with Margie. She returned in a few moments, poured his water and asked if he was ready to order. Joe had not looked at the menu but simply said: “I think I’ll stick with my usual.” Margie smiled: “You bet, Joe, I’ll be back in a flash.”

         Joe returned to looking out the window, shifting in his seat and wiping his eyes. I assumed he was pushing aside a tear.

         Margie returned with his blue plate special (looked like an open face turkey sandwich), a small salad and a cup of coffee. Then came that moment of kindness. There were only a few other patrons in the restaurant at the time, so Margie sat down across from Joe and said: “So, how are you doing? What’s on your list for the day, Joe? Margie really cared. “Oh, same old, same old, Margie, thanks for asking.” She smiled, I think knowing that this moment was important to Joe. “Hey, when I bring you piece of pie, what’s say I put a scoop of ice cream on top – my treat.” “That would be great, Margie. Thanks.”

         My wife and I ordered another cup of coffee. I had to know more. Joe finished every bite of his lunch and pie a ’la mode. Margie left the bill, leaned over, and kissed Joe on his forehead. “See you tomorrow, Joe. Have a great day.”

         Joe, stood, left money on the table, grabbed his cane and fedora, walked towards the door, turned and tipped his hat, and left. I was too much a part of the story to stop here so I called Margie over to our table. I told her how impressed I was with the way she treated Joe and wondered if there was a back story.

         She saw how serious I was, so she said: “Joe is a great guy. He eats here five days a week. His wife and he used to dine here every Friday night but three years ago, she passed away. They were married 60 years. He no longer cooks for himself, lives alone, and has little to do now. He was, at his prime, the manager of a factory in town. They had more than 50 employees who worked for and adored this man. He was, by all accounts, a great boss who cared about his people. When he comes here every day at 2:00 he gives me an opportunity to make his day. I take that responsibility very seriously. He is one of my favorite people.  See that jar on the counter behind the register?” I looked and focused on the label that proclaimed: JOE’S BIRTHDAY FUND. “Every day, Joe leaves a $20 bill for his $18 lunch. I put the $2 tip in the jar to help fund a birthday party we offer him every year. Complete with balloons and party hats, a crowd of locals, including some former employees of his, arrive to celebrate this wonderful man. We are part of his family and so happy to be that.”

         Honestly, I was choked up. Such a wonderful story of kindness – so much a story of real hospitality. This is what it means to be part of this business of food, service, and big hearts. One single act of kindness.

PLAN BETTER – TRAIN HARDER – BE KIND

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